Why are you holding yourself back?
It is thrilling to be grandly inspired and equally disappointing to slide back into our old way of being. Everyone has this struggle occasionally.
Those we admire, including Abraham Lincoln, Mahatma Gandhi, Joan of Arc, and Nelson Mandela expressed this struggle in their lives. Yet they eventually transcended into achievement. What holds us in our comfort zone?
Take your pick. Life experiences that disappoint or terrify. Expectations from those we love. Difficult work places or relationships. Fear of failure. Choices that disappoint. Successes that fall short of the joy we anticipated. Indecision. Lack of motivation. Unrealistic expectations. Attachment to outcomes we can’t control. These are only a few. Each of us have our own list. We create that list, add to it, and regularly revisit it throughout our lives.
Other inhibitors are less evident or hidden from our awareness. Fear that if we achieve, others will deem us show-offs. Belief that if we reach a high point, we won’t be able to maintain it. Insecurity of a new self-image. Fear of success. Fear of our own magnificence.
Isn’t it time to move beyond such limitations? Do you recognize that as you let your light shine, others are encouraged to do the same? Is it possible that beyond that inhibiting belief which looms before you, you can discover your greatest jewel - that on the other side is a freeeeeedom! and the joy you have always secretly anticipated?
I’ve been there many times. And of course when I blast through one insurmountable obstacle, another shows up to take its place. Whew! This looks overwhelming! So, what can we do? In my late twenties I attended personal leadership training where I heard a quote that shifted my perspective:
“It is easier to act yourself into a new way of thinking than it is to think yourself into a new way of acting.” - Millard Fuller
As I went on to weave this concept into concrete action steps in my life, I have reached ever-expanding new comfort zones. I have been able to move beyond “what I am now, here” into “what I want to be, there”. Eventually “there” becomes “here” and my sights move to new horizons.
Growing up in rural Kansas, I learned to drive on muddy dirt roads and to trek out to care for sheep and cattle during strong winds carrying heavy snowfall. Yet by the age of twenty-five, I had successfully avoided driving in blizzard conditions.
Now on a snowy November day I was visiting my parent’s farm, with blizzard warnings blaring from their radio. A challenging fifty miles away was an evening class on self-development that I had personally committed to full attendance.
This time, the obstacle of “I can’t drive in a snow storm” was facing up to “I will attend every class, no excuses!” Bummer! What to do?
My efforts to think myself through this dilemma bumped into obstacles…“What if I run off the road? What if I wreck the car? What if I get stuck and no one comes by to help me? What if I walk to get help and my fingers freeze off? What if I get hypothermia and die? What if my husband and little girl lose me?”
I had a history of successfully painting a vivid picture of this scenario. But this time, it only made me feel small. I realized if I backed down, I would be a victim of circumstances. On the other hand, if I blasted through and made it, I would be a victor.
I decided to act myself into a new way of thinking. I gathered survival gear I might need, including a flashlight, a thermos of hot water, a sandwich and chips, and two wool blankets. With my heart beating in my throat, I set out.
The fickle wind blew blinding snow over me so I could only see forward a few feet, but so long as I navigated between the tall weeds in the side ditches and drove slowly, I could inch forward. Within thirty minutes, the wind cleared to reveal a serene, sparkling landscape. Snow on the road was drivable and I had the sensation of being alone with the Divine, enjoying the gift of an unspoiled winter wonderland bestowed just for my pleasure. My journey to class took me twice as long as usual, but I made it, victorious!
This challenge would have been nothing to others perhaps, but to me, it felt exhilarating and liberating. Knowing I conquered that obstacle gave me inner confidence to conquer more. I felt stronger and more self-assured.
What is your next step?
Actions large or small, each step is truly the beginning of the journey of a thousand miles.
Right now, jot down a seeming obstacle you face.
List three action steps you can take to blast through it.
When will you do this?
How will you recognize it has been completed?
What will it change in your life?
